I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
