Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
