I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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