Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
