we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize