And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
