I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
