yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
