i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am one with the molecules
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize