garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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