Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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