I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
