Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
