Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
