dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
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