His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
