not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
