so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
