she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
