I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
