We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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