My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
