i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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