Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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