He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize