another moral hangover. fuck.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
