What a fucking waste of an outfit
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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