If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize