I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
