Taylor Swift is so right about you.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
