Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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