So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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