so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
