I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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