I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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