just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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