I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
