I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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