Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
