...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
