I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
