Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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