Apparently you make a good broom.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
