I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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