i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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