u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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