And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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