I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
