remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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