She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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