so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
