The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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