i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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