I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He better not be in your backpack
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
