my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
