kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
