No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
