i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
