This girl is more easily done than said...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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