I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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