that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
