did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
