Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
