how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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