at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
