Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
