Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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