whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just pee around me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
