ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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