He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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