Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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