Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
