last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
