oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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