Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
