The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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