But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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