I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
