i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
