I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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