i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
