ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
