The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
