WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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