why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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