i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
